It was only after living in the suburbs for a bit that I remembered that I didn’t always cycle in the city. My first rides were on unpaved rural roads without shoulders. Approaching vehicles brought yells of “Car!” and we all – my parents, my younger siblings and our dogs – all scrambled over to the side of the road and stopped, waiting for the car to pass and the dust to settle. Luckily, traffic was infrequent.

Riding in town meant braving the highway first. I only ventured through the town itself a few times, choosing most times to skirt the two short one-way streets that make up its small core. And while I’m sure there were people who cycled there, I don’t remember any commuters. The two-wheeled were kids, maybe some mountain bikers and racers. Adults on bikes were pretty much invisible.

It wasn’t until I got to Victoria that I began to commute by bike, and even then, it felt a little bit on the fringe. (The father of the guy I was dating then cracked jokes – something something unshaven legs – about crunchy-nutty hippie types being the only ones who rode bikes.)

Part of the problem was that I felt like I didn’t quite fit. I didn’t want to ride a mountain bike, but I didn’t want to ride a ten-speed, either. Some of it was about comfort, some about style – but it was also about missing the feeling of freedom and fun I felt when flying down the dirt driveway at the family farm, sun shining on my face, wind in my hair.

After some time living elsewhere, I find myself back in Victoria. It isn’t the bike paradise I remembered, but I’m not the cyclist I once was, either. I’ve traded in my hybrid commuter for a more European ride, and ditched the rainproof booties and pants. With that, my expectations and cycling wish list changed, too.

For a small-town country girl, a sense of freedom can be hard to come by in the city – something about the cars and exhaust and buildings and lack of space.

I find it here on the Galloping Goose. I found it in Toronto as I rode its streets late at night, often the only person around. And I’ve found it by changing my mindset about riding, taking joy in the journey rather than focusing on how long it takes.

Now if only I could do something about the cars.